If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
