so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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