Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
