On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
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