i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
