you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
