i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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