well I can't set my house on fire every night
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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