some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
