Dual....:-)
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
My vagina is officially offended.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
