So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
