As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
