So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
