He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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