he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
