Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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