ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
