i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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