He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
