I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
