what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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