I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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