Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I wish you could order shots online.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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