For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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