Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
