normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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