I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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