i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
