Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I need water and some morals
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
