When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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