Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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