That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize