I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
