Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
