I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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