hotel room ftw
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
