Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Randomize
