I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
