He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Randomize
