it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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