she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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