Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
