did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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