I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
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