worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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