Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
