Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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