so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
