oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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