So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
