Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Randomize
