I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Randomize
