why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
