So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
