The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
