she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
so let's talk penis.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize