I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Farmville is her only friend.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
