the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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