You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Randomize
