Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
