That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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